Supermarket Sweep

Happy Easter Everyone.


Couple of updates for you from my previous post.

Mrs Macbeth advises that the Steve Davis/Thistle Window combo this weekend is for "chariteee" (they don't want to talk about it much). All very noble but my comments still stand. The charity angle is a ruse to get people through the door and I still can't see how getting Snooker Loopy to visit is going to make you buy a new door.

Now, here's a quote today from Labour MP Frank Field, one of the few of his ilk I have any respect for:

"I don't know how some of my young constituents survive, given the toerags they have as nominal parents."

Does Frank read Tragic Kingdom?! If he does, welcome aboard Sir and please do subscribe.

So I was working yesterday, lots to do so didn't even head off early. Mrs MacBeth wished to have a relaxing bath and requested I go to Tesco for some nice bubble bath. Why she can't use Fairy Liquid, which after all is bubbles, I don't know.
 
I was in there less than 10 minutes, but I was hacked off constantly. It started with the sheer amount of pensioners in there. Why are they roaming around a supermarket at tea time on Good Friday? The place was heaving with people just out of work stocking up on essentials for the holiday weekend. The elderly can shop anytime, why do they always seem to do so at lunchtimes and around 5pm when working people are in there.  Do they get an extra £5 in their pensions as "nuisance allowance" for doing this disservice to the country?

Thereafter as I walked serenely down the aisle, I was forced to take evasive action as a Susan Boyle look alike careered down the aisle with a trolley laden with sugary snacks.  Fatso is important and in a hurry.  Everyone get out of her way.  The horrible obese cow had obviously heard there was a sale at the crisps and doughnuts departments and needed to get there at the speed of light.

So wearily I make my way to check out.  I've got about 8 items.  Now I know it's not the student behind the check out's fault, she is only following orders, but honestly, "Do you want a hand with your packing".  Even I will manage to chuck less than ten items in a plastic bag.  And then I can't get the damned plastic bag to open.............it's like it's super glued together.............I have little fat fingers and this has suddenly become like the Krypton Factor for me.

The other two questions you are always asked nowadays at checkout are, "do you need plastic bags" and "do you have a loyalty card".  If you give the wrong answers here (yes to the former, no to the latter, which inevitably are my stock replies) the till dolly will look at you in the same manner they would if you had just admitted to being Ian Brady's penpal, with Gary Glitter as your lodger.

Meanwhile, behind me in the queue is a guy who has bought 30 pints of milk.  You did read that right.  15 x 2 pint cartons.  What the fuck is he going to do with it?  Is his wife Cleopatra, but has decided goat's milk is too difficult to come by?  Oh and Mr Cleo, thanks for standing hard up my arse in the queue, sighing and fidgeting with impatience, allowing me to inhale your rank halitosis, you harassing me really does make me go quicker through the check out doesn't it.  You utter, utter bell end.

Music recommendation today is the Happy Mondays, who are to headline the Wizard Festival in the North East this summer.  How's about some Step On?  Awesome stuff - off you all go now and twist your melon.............man!