I had a busy day at work today (no sniggering at the back). So against my better judgement I nipped out to a back street sandwich shop a couple of minutes away from the office to purchase some luncheon. This place has had bad reviews from my work colleagues but needs must. Walked in and there was three or four people in front of me. 5 minutes later I'm still waiting in the same spot. The Three Musketeers behind the counter are excruciatingly slow at making low standard sandwiches and they suck their teeth when people hand over £10 as they've "nae change ken". Imagine thinking a catering establishment might have change of a tenner, down that road lies madness.
As I'm waiting I sense someone acting in a pretty impatient and irritated manner behind me. I have a quick glance behind and there's a woman, obviously of pension age, agitated and moving from side to side like a winger trying to lose his full back. I now know how Danny McGrain must have felt when he was marking Peter Weir (apologies if you have no idea who these people are!). As I finally get to the counter, Mrs Miggins shoots in front of me like Alan Wells lunging for the tape in the 100 metres final in Moscow in 1980 and asks for a tuna sandwich or some other such delicacy that won't stick to her bloody false teeth.
I am a bit taken aback, this is not the kind of behaviour you're used to from senior citizens, but in my state of shock I manage to blurt out "erm excuse me, are you having a laugh, there is a queue and I was before you". She makes a face like Blanche from Coronation Street and then studiously ignores me. The brains trust behind the counter as one look at me in disgust.
Miggins' mate, who was standing nearby now gets involved, stating to me (and the rest of the shop) in a loud and screechy voice, "for goodness sake that's pathetic." Dander well and truly up now, I ask her if she would have thought the same had a teenager barged in front of her in a queue or would she have instead started into a tirade about the "youth of today".
She refuted this saying she had "better things to do". I guess these things would include standing in aisles at supermarkets blocking them with a strategically positioned trolley, writing to the Evening Express complaining about Donald Trump, watching soap operas, spending her pension on Bingo and smelling of piss, but I digress.
I just shook my head and ordered my stovies. The Mensa members counter side were overtly rude to me and made it quite clear they thought I was an arse. The stovies were anaemic, the beetroot had black bits on it and the oat cakes were soggy by the way.
So dear readers, what do you think. Was I an arse? Or was I within my rights and is this just another example of this country going to hell in a hand cart. When Molly Sugden decides it's time to stop the age old British custom of queueing and just barge to the front, I personally think we're totally screwed.
Tonight's music is Same Old Scene by Roxy Music. I urge you all to get some Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music into your life and this is a cracker to get you started - not as obvious as the likes of Jealous Guy, Dance Away or Do The Strand but a forgotten gem.
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
We are now at War with Eurasia
When I started this blog, I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't get bogged down in a long list of blogs which could come under the banner of "you couldn't make it up" or "it's political correctness gone maaaaaaaaaaaad".
However, I am afraid that the depths to which this country plumbs on a daily basis makes it almost impossible for me not to come back time and again to these kind of stories and today I've found another cracker for your edification and enlightenment.
Pauline Howe, who is 67 years old, wrote a letter to Norwich Council objecting to a local gay pride march. She used the word “sodomites” and objected to “perverted sexual practices” amongst other phrases about homosexuality, mostly coming from her own religious viewpoint.
The Council requested she be visited by the Police and Plod duly obliged, with two Officers turning up at her door and lectured her about having committed a potential "hate crime".
Yes you read that right dear reader. Accused of Hate Speech. George Orwell got it bang on the money didn't he. The fact that two wooden tops turned up at her door suggests to me they were considering charging her with a crime, hate or otherwise.
Now Ms Howe's views are a little on the 1950s side. Some of the stuff she spouted in her letter is naive and broad brush in the extreme. However it has to be taken into consideration she is a 67 year old grandmother who has a strong Christian religious faith, with the resultant naivety and conservative (with a small c) views she will hold. For the Council and Police to waste taxpayer's money on this charade is quite simply astonishing. Even Stonewall has suggested the actions were heavy handed. The saddest thing is I'm not surprised by any of this anymore.
I do wonder had Ms Howe and the rest of her congregation been planning a Christian Pride march and the Council had received a letter of complaint from a third party calling them "God botherers", stating "there is no God" and that the bible was a "fantasy", would the Old Bill have turned up at their doors?
Tonight's music comes from Erasure, with the 80s classic "Sometimes". Andy's soaring vocals compliment Vince's sublime synth and made the song a number 2 hit here in the UK and top 5 Stateside. They went on to have 20 top 30 hits in the UK with their signature synth dance/pop.
However, I am afraid that the depths to which this country plumbs on a daily basis makes it almost impossible for me not to come back time and again to these kind of stories and today I've found another cracker for your edification and enlightenment.
Pauline Howe, who is 67 years old, wrote a letter to Norwich Council objecting to a local gay pride march. She used the word “sodomites” and objected to “perverted sexual practices” amongst other phrases about homosexuality, mostly coming from her own religious viewpoint.
The Council requested she be visited by the Police and Plod duly obliged, with two Officers turning up at her door and lectured her about having committed a potential "hate crime".
Yes you read that right dear reader. Accused of Hate Speech. George Orwell got it bang on the money didn't he. The fact that two wooden tops turned up at her door suggests to me they were considering charging her with a crime, hate or otherwise.
Now Ms Howe's views are a little on the 1950s side. Some of the stuff she spouted in her letter is naive and broad brush in the extreme. However it has to be taken into consideration she is a 67 year old grandmother who has a strong Christian religious faith, with the resultant naivety and conservative (with a small c) views she will hold. For the Council and Police to waste taxpayer's money on this charade is quite simply astonishing. Even Stonewall has suggested the actions were heavy handed. The saddest thing is I'm not surprised by any of this anymore.
I do wonder had Ms Howe and the rest of her congregation been planning a Christian Pride march and the Council had received a letter of complaint from a third party calling them "God botherers", stating "there is no God" and that the bible was a "fantasy", would the Old Bill have turned up at their doors?
Tonight's music comes from Erasure, with the 80s classic "Sometimes". Andy's soaring vocals compliment Vince's sublime synth and made the song a number 2 hit here in the UK and top 5 Stateside. They went on to have 20 top 30 hits in the UK with their signature synth dance/pop.
Monday, 26 October 2009
Get Well Soon Morrissey
Morrissey collapsed on stage at a gig in Swindon on Saturday night. I was sitting having a beer catching up on the news on Sky when the news came out. I felt a little shiver down my spine. Now I am not Avid Merrion. I despise the celebrity culture and all these talentless nonentities who go on some shit programme and are suddenly on the pages of all those bloody magazines.
However, over the years you do become fond of certain people in the public eye, mainly people who you have grown up/old with and are generally in the music, sport or entertainment industries which I have interest in. Some of these people have been on the box in the corner of the room for as long as I can remember watching it. When they head for the far side banks of Jordan, it will feel strange for them not to be there anymore.
Now don't think I am going all Princess Diana hysteria on you here. I will feel a little sad, have a wee think about some of the memories I have of them and move on. That's the British way. You do NOT collapse into a blubbering mass of tears and hyperventilation about someone who you did not personally know.
I'm thinking here about people like Bruce Forsyth. I remember Brucie in the 70s on the Generation Game with Anthea Redfearn. Sir Alex of Ferguson, for making my childhood football memories so amazing. Clint Eastwood, I sat and watched the spaghetti westerns and Dirty Harry movies with my dad. Ditto Sean Connery for the Bond Movies.
I could be here all night really. But you get the gist of what I'm saying. The individuals above did not have to go into the jungle or get their tits out to become 'famous'. Amen for that.
Music tonight has of course to come from Morrissey. A solo single as opposed to his Smith's output. Suedehead was his first solo single and still one of the best. If you get the chance to see the video it's awesome too, a bit of a homage to James Dean.
However, over the years you do become fond of certain people in the public eye, mainly people who you have grown up/old with and are generally in the music, sport or entertainment industries which I have interest in. Some of these people have been on the box in the corner of the room for as long as I can remember watching it. When they head for the far side banks of Jordan, it will feel strange for them not to be there anymore.
Now don't think I am going all Princess Diana hysteria on you here. I will feel a little sad, have a wee think about some of the memories I have of them and move on. That's the British way. You do NOT collapse into a blubbering mass of tears and hyperventilation about someone who you did not personally know.
I'm thinking here about people like Bruce Forsyth. I remember Brucie in the 70s on the Generation Game with Anthea Redfearn. Sir Alex of Ferguson, for making my childhood football memories so amazing. Clint Eastwood, I sat and watched the spaghetti westerns and Dirty Harry movies with my dad. Ditto Sean Connery for the Bond Movies.
I could be here all night really. But you get the gist of what I'm saying. The individuals above did not have to go into the jungle or get their tits out to become 'famous'. Amen for that.
Music tonight has of course to come from Morrissey. A solo single as opposed to his Smith's output. Suedehead was his first solo single and still one of the best. If you get the chance to see the video it's awesome too, a bit of a homage to James Dean.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Sports Fans = Neanderathals
Donal Og Cusack, the goalkeeper of the Cork hurling team has "came out" in the Irish Media today and it has sparked fierce debate in the Emerald Isle. Reporting about it on the BBC website, BBC Ireland correspondent Mark Simpson ends his screed with the following:
"Apart from some homophobic text messages sent to radio stations, the overwhelming reaction to Cusack's announcement has been positive.
However, in some ways, the biggest test could be the opposition crowd's reaction the next time he runs out on the pitch for Cork.
In most sports across the world, rival fans are not renowned for their open-mindedness. "
This really reinforced a discussion I had at the Aberdeen match yesterday with two of the followers to this blog. At Scottish Football matches you are bombarded with messages on bigotry, racism, homophobia, in fact an "ism" or "phobia" you can think of.
The media and administrator's label for sports fans and in particular football fans, is they are all narrow minded brain dead scum who require to be battered into submission by "on message" information to show them how thick and bigoted they are.
The people who "run" football in our country have a simple maxim for the average football fan: "you are stupid and gullible, we will treat you with utter contempt, now give us your money and keep quiet."
In these people's minds sport's fans read the Sun and Sport, watch "celebrity Jordan and Peter Big Brother can't cook on ice" and go out and batter pensioners and ethnic minorities of a weekend, whilst "binge drinking"..........
It really is an insult to the vast majority of football fans. Of course there are people who watch football who you can label as above, but it's the same for all sectors of society.
Here's hoping the fans of one of the oldest sports in the world confound the media's perceptions and give Donal a rousing reception when he minds the net again for Cork, give him a ribbing if he makes a mistake and then have a pint of the black stuff at the end of the game with him and discuss the merits of Joyce, Shaw and Beckett. Mark Simpson might be aghast to know this thick as pig shit football fan has read Ulysses - didn't understand a word of it........... :o)
Music tonight is You're the Devil in Disguise by Elvis. A less well known track, it's one of the few 7" singles my mum and dad had from the King. I played it to death as a kid. Still love it now. Listen to the drums in the backing track to the chorus, sublime.
"Apart from some homophobic text messages sent to radio stations, the overwhelming reaction to Cusack's announcement has been positive.
However, in some ways, the biggest test could be the opposition crowd's reaction the next time he runs out on the pitch for Cork.
In most sports across the world, rival fans are not renowned for their open-mindedness. "
This really reinforced a discussion I had at the Aberdeen match yesterday with two of the followers to this blog. At Scottish Football matches you are bombarded with messages on bigotry, racism, homophobia, in fact an "ism" or "phobia" you can think of.
The media and administrator's label for sports fans and in particular football fans, is they are all narrow minded brain dead scum who require to be battered into submission by "on message" information to show them how thick and bigoted they are.
The people who "run" football in our country have a simple maxim for the average football fan: "you are stupid and gullible, we will treat you with utter contempt, now give us your money and keep quiet."
In these people's minds sport's fans read the Sun and Sport, watch "celebrity Jordan and Peter Big Brother can't cook on ice" and go out and batter pensioners and ethnic minorities of a weekend, whilst "binge drinking"..........
It really is an insult to the vast majority of football fans. Of course there are people who watch football who you can label as above, but it's the same for all sectors of society.
Here's hoping the fans of one of the oldest sports in the world confound the media's perceptions and give Donal a rousing reception when he minds the net again for Cork, give him a ribbing if he makes a mistake and then have a pint of the black stuff at the end of the game with him and discuss the merits of Joyce, Shaw and Beckett. Mark Simpson might be aghast to know this thick as pig shit football fan has read Ulysses - didn't understand a word of it........... :o)
Music tonight is You're the Devil in Disguise by Elvis. A less well known track, it's one of the few 7" singles my mum and dad had from the King. I played it to death as a kid. Still love it now. Listen to the drums in the backing track to the chorus, sublime.
Friday, 23 October 2009
Playing into the Hands of the BNP
So, did you watch Question Time last night? Predictably, the "mainstream" parties (and the 'neutral' chairman of the panel Dimbleby) walked straight into the BNP's hands by attacking Griffin in the style of a lynch mob.
Griffin is an unsavoury character. In amongst the platitudes of 'moderating' his party last night there was a nod towards Holocaust denial. He is a politician all right.
So the way to neutralise him and his party is to engage them in a debate about their policies. Last night was the perfect chance to do so. Instead the BBC loaded their panel and audience with people whose hatred for the BNP clouded their judgement and ability to debate. Instead it became an all out attack on Griffin. He wasn't allowed to talk without interruption, so in effect got away scot-free.
Many viewers will have had sympathy for him because of the "performance" of the other panellists and therefore his reputation was wrongly enhanced. Jack Straw in particular was a disgrace, waffling and pontificating at every turn.
The liberal elite in this country of all political hues really do not have a clue. They sit in their ivory towers and multi-million pound houses in Notting Hill, pontificating over a Grande Latte about the disgrace the "extreme right wing" are.
Meanwhile in many working class areas (especially in England) there are genuine concerns over where this country is heading. Many of these people aged 50 and above have seen such fundamental change in the demographic of the country it is understandable they are worried. However if any of them try and speak about their concerns they are pilloried as "racists".
The BNP prey on this and the way the "establishment" act over immigration and multiculturalism only exacerbates the situation. And then they wonder why almost a million people voted for the BNP at the Euro Elections - many of whom I have no doubt do not know exactly what the party stands for.
It's hard to believe I know but we've seen the BNP in action here in rural Deeside! There was a local council election not long ago and I had the misfortune to be walking down to the local shop for the Sunday paper. A clapped out Transit van was sitting in the car park with a BNP sticker on the window. 4 or 5 middle aged denim clad men (jean suits are soooooooo 80s) were standing outside the van. I have to admit they intimidated me, so goodness knows how it would be for a pensioner answering their door to them.
This is the side of the BNP you don't see. But if the mainstream parties don't get a grip and tackle the BNP about their POLICIES, instead of writing them off as racist loonies, the foothold they've already got will become an irreversible base camp.
My song choice today embraces multicultural Britain as this band were suggested to me by my American follower! She is working in this country until at least the end of the year and it's nice to see us giving the colonials some work experience!! The band are called Wilco and they do a darned good blend of country/rock. Check out I Must be High and then Impossible Germany and you'll see these guys are no one trick ponies though. Cheers Terri!
Griffin is an unsavoury character. In amongst the platitudes of 'moderating' his party last night there was a nod towards Holocaust denial. He is a politician all right.
So the way to neutralise him and his party is to engage them in a debate about their policies. Last night was the perfect chance to do so. Instead the BBC loaded their panel and audience with people whose hatred for the BNP clouded their judgement and ability to debate. Instead it became an all out attack on Griffin. He wasn't allowed to talk without interruption, so in effect got away scot-free.
Many viewers will have had sympathy for him because of the "performance" of the other panellists and therefore his reputation was wrongly enhanced. Jack Straw in particular was a disgrace, waffling and pontificating at every turn.
The liberal elite in this country of all political hues really do not have a clue. They sit in their ivory towers and multi-million pound houses in Notting Hill, pontificating over a Grande Latte about the disgrace the "extreme right wing" are.
Meanwhile in many working class areas (especially in England) there are genuine concerns over where this country is heading. Many of these people aged 50 and above have seen such fundamental change in the demographic of the country it is understandable they are worried. However if any of them try and speak about their concerns they are pilloried as "racists".
The BNP prey on this and the way the "establishment" act over immigration and multiculturalism only exacerbates the situation. And then they wonder why almost a million people voted for the BNP at the Euro Elections - many of whom I have no doubt do not know exactly what the party stands for.
It's hard to believe I know but we've seen the BNP in action here in rural Deeside! There was a local council election not long ago and I had the misfortune to be walking down to the local shop for the Sunday paper. A clapped out Transit van was sitting in the car park with a BNP sticker on the window. 4 or 5 middle aged denim clad men (jean suits are soooooooo 80s) were standing outside the van. I have to admit they intimidated me, so goodness knows how it would be for a pensioner answering their door to them.
This is the side of the BNP you don't see. But if the mainstream parties don't get a grip and tackle the BNP about their POLICIES, instead of writing them off as racist loonies, the foothold they've already got will become an irreversible base camp.
My song choice today embraces multicultural Britain as this band were suggested to me by my American follower! She is working in this country until at least the end of the year and it's nice to see us giving the colonials some work experience!! The band are called Wilco and they do a darned good blend of country/rock. Check out I Must be High and then Impossible Germany and you'll see these guys are no one trick ponies though. Cheers Terri!
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Driven to Distraction
The quality of driving in Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire is quite frankly appalling. You have to wonder which lucky dip some of these tubes found their driving licences in. I could be here all night with examples but in general here's my biggest bugbears:
Lack of indicators. Are these things optional extras in the car showrooms of the North East? Roundabouts are negotiated at break neck speed with no indication to fellow road users which exit they are about to use. Junctions are negotiated in the same manner. Frustrating and dangerous in equal parts.
Driving on "B" and Unclassified roads. There are two types of clown on these roads. The first is the 10 miles an hour crawler. They will have a line of traffic behind them like the safety car in a Formula 1 race, but they will not under any circumstances pull over and let them past. The other is Mr Arrogant. Mr Arrogant is usually driving a 4x4, BMW or Audi. He is normally morbidly obese. He drives at 60mph on single track roads, on the wrong side of the road, and will not move over for anyone else. He will tailgate anyone who is travelling at a "normal" speed for these types of road. If anyone gets in his way he will sound his horn, flash his headlights and swear at them. The only good thing is you can see his blood pressure rising - it will not be long before he drops down with a heart attack.
The 10 miles an hour crawler can also to be seen on "scenic" routes like the North and South Deeside Roads. The people who go for a "wee run" on these roads sit at 20mph and seem oblivious to the fact that some people actually live out in these parts and might actually have things to do. These people drive me to distraction - they have nowhere to go and all day to go there.
There just does not seem to be a happy medium with speed. It's either people driving so slow that cyclists are overtaking them or absolute nutters overtaking on blind corners at 80mph. What is wrong with sitting at 50-60mph? What's the problem with driving as you were taught, Mirror, SIGNAL, manoeuvre? Some people's brains seem to go into neutral when they get behind the wheel.
Today's music is from the Cars - "Drive". What else really after this post? Pompous 80s Rock Balladry at it's finest!
Lack of indicators. Are these things optional extras in the car showrooms of the North East? Roundabouts are negotiated at break neck speed with no indication to fellow road users which exit they are about to use. Junctions are negotiated in the same manner. Frustrating and dangerous in equal parts.
Driving on "B" and Unclassified roads. There are two types of clown on these roads. The first is the 10 miles an hour crawler. They will have a line of traffic behind them like the safety car in a Formula 1 race, but they will not under any circumstances pull over and let them past. The other is Mr Arrogant. Mr Arrogant is usually driving a 4x4, BMW or Audi. He is normally morbidly obese. He drives at 60mph on single track roads, on the wrong side of the road, and will not move over for anyone else. He will tailgate anyone who is travelling at a "normal" speed for these types of road. If anyone gets in his way he will sound his horn, flash his headlights and swear at them. The only good thing is you can see his blood pressure rising - it will not be long before he drops down with a heart attack.
The 10 miles an hour crawler can also to be seen on "scenic" routes like the North and South Deeside Roads. The people who go for a "wee run" on these roads sit at 20mph and seem oblivious to the fact that some people actually live out in these parts and might actually have things to do. These people drive me to distraction - they have nowhere to go and all day to go there.
There just does not seem to be a happy medium with speed. It's either people driving so slow that cyclists are overtaking them or absolute nutters overtaking on blind corners at 80mph. What is wrong with sitting at 50-60mph? What's the problem with driving as you were taught, Mirror, SIGNAL, manoeuvre? Some people's brains seem to go into neutral when they get behind the wheel.
Today's music is from the Cars - "Drive". What else really after this post? Pompous 80s Rock Balladry at it's finest!
Monday, 19 October 2009
Scottish Football - A Template for Change
Hi folks. Apologies, but Blogs will be infrequent this week as we are on holiday - great weather as ever for the tattie holidays!
After Aberdeen were robbed of a deserved three points on Saturday by the maroon hammer throwers from Edinburgh I was thinking of how Scottish football could be improved.
A poster on Aberdeen Mad had a great idea which was basically for the rest of the teams in the SPL to resign and re-enter the SFL, meaning the Old Firm were left high and dry. This is an excellent idea. After this happens (!) I would suggest the following:
Reconstruct the leagues - have two leagues of 16; 32 teams in total. We are a tenth of the size of England with around a third of the teams so something has to give. I think 32 is still too much but it's a start. Play each other home and away, 30 games a season.
Promotion and relegation from Division 2. 2 teams go down to be replaced by two non-league sides. These would be the champions of a reconstructed regional non-league - North and South.
Promotion and relegation from Division 1. 2 teams relegated. Top two from Division two promoted. Third bottom on Division one, plays off against team which is third in Division two at Hampden, winner takes all.
League cup back to being a short and sweet competition at the start of the season. Straight knockout, no seeding. Final by the end of October.
Ask Fifa if we can experiment with a new points system. 4 points for an away win. 3 points for a home win. 2 points for a scoring away draw. 1 point for a home scoring draw. 1 point each for a no score draw. Extra point for a team if they score 3 or more goals, that includes in a defeat.
This should ensure more attacking football as there are plenty of incentives to score goals.
This is obviously a simple rough plan but I think there's merit in it. I remember the hoo ha when 3 points for a win came to pass, now you can't remember what it was like before it was implemented. It needs bravery from all - and that's why it will never happen.
Music tonight comes from Elton John - Tiny Dancer. It's got a pedal steel guitar in it - that's good enough for me!
After Aberdeen were robbed of a deserved three points on Saturday by the maroon hammer throwers from Edinburgh I was thinking of how Scottish football could be improved.
A poster on Aberdeen Mad had a great idea which was basically for the rest of the teams in the SPL to resign and re-enter the SFL, meaning the Old Firm were left high and dry. This is an excellent idea. After this happens (!) I would suggest the following:
Reconstruct the leagues - have two leagues of 16; 32 teams in total. We are a tenth of the size of England with around a third of the teams so something has to give. I think 32 is still too much but it's a start. Play each other home and away, 30 games a season.
Promotion and relegation from Division 2. 2 teams go down to be replaced by two non-league sides. These would be the champions of a reconstructed regional non-league - North and South.
Promotion and relegation from Division 1. 2 teams relegated. Top two from Division two promoted. Third bottom on Division one, plays off against team which is third in Division two at Hampden, winner takes all.
League cup back to being a short and sweet competition at the start of the season. Straight knockout, no seeding. Final by the end of October.
Ask Fifa if we can experiment with a new points system. 4 points for an away win. 3 points for a home win. 2 points for a scoring away draw. 1 point for a home scoring draw. 1 point each for a no score draw. Extra point for a team if they score 3 or more goals, that includes in a defeat.
This should ensure more attacking football as there are plenty of incentives to score goals.
This is obviously a simple rough plan but I think there's merit in it. I remember the hoo ha when 3 points for a win came to pass, now you can't remember what it was like before it was implemented. It needs bravery from all - and that's why it will never happen.
Music tonight comes from Elton John - Tiny Dancer. It's got a pedal steel guitar in it - that's good enough for me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
